Dream Visitors

Do you ever dream of someone that has passed on? I have two people that enter my dreams frequently, about every couple of months or so. I wonder if it’s because of unfinished business, like in the movies? The first, my friend Heather, I adore that she’s in my dreams. She had a vibrant personality, engaging smile, and an infectious laugh. She was only 43 years old when she left this world in 2014. Her death affected me deeply…that a person, a close friend, so full of life and love had her life ended so young. Instead of pushing me away from God because I didn’t understand, I feel that I drew closer to Him. Every time I meet Heather in my dreams, she gives me a hug. I believe it is because in the last couple of years before she passed away, I was becoming more open to receiving them. Now, I’ll even initiate them. If you knew me when I was younger, you would see why this was a big deal for me. I had so many walls up to protect myself, but Heather, and a couple of other friends, have helped chip away at them. I wonder if our unfinished business is how much I wish I told Heather what a special person she was, not just to me but to whomever she encountered. I now try to make it a point to let others know how much they mean to me, whether it’s through a card, or a text. I still struggle with making phone calls or telling people face to face what a blessing they are.

The other person that randomly enters my dreams, and not always in a good way, is my stepfather. I’m not sure if our unfinished business is my forgiveness of his abusive parenting skills. I thought I had forgiven him. For someone so strong physically, he was too weak to break the abusive cycle he was raised in. Although I see the cycle, it doesn’t make it easier to relive the memories. Sometimes a memory will surface, and bitterness will rise in me. As an adult, I can admit that I know he loved me and my brothers. The control he had to have made it seem he wanted us to fear him. Anyone that knew him would say he was generous and caring, but he ruled the house with his hands, his belt, and vicious words. On the other hand, he was instrumental with getting my boys home from Ukraine. He adored them. He definitely made a better grandfather than a father. In my dreams he is usually controlling and loud, just like he was in life. Someday I hope to ask him why he shows up in my dreams and wake up with an answer.

Obviously, the dreams with Heather are uplifting and positive and also the ones that have me wake up sad, as I know she is so missed by her mom, husband, son, her best friend, and the many friends she had. What I took away from my stepfather is how not to discipline. It did take me a little bit to break the cycle, as my boys didn’t come as babies. I didn’t have time to adjust through the years from their birth. They came to me, at ages 5 & 6, with their stubbornness, personalities, and survival skills already ingrained. I look forward to more dream visitors, whether it’s Heather, my stepfather, or others. As I get older, and more people pass away, my dreams focus more on the past and present, and less on the ‘weird things’ like flying or running in place or any other situations that usually have people heading to the dream interpretation books.