Or does it? Some days I don’t know. I pray. I read. I take my medicine. I reach out to friends (sort of). I know it will pass, just like it has always done. It’s a feeling of heaviness in my soul. If it wasn’t for my sense of responsibility, I would stay in bed and watch Marvel movies all day. My eleven year old and my school work are what gets me going, even if it’s just the minimal things, like making him food or doing the dishes. I don’t let on to anyone in the house, or out of it, how deep my despair can be. Normally, it takes about a week for me to start feeling better, but during the time-frame I am in this ‘funk’, it always seems like it will take longer. There is no trigger, usually. I think it may even be a way that I sub-consciously try to sabotage the happiness that I have been feeling or an accomplishment that is about to happen or I’m just overwhelmed with the unknown. I just needed to share. I know I’m not alone. If I didn’t have common sense or a good head on my shoulders, I know it would be more difficult. I know I have people I can go to, it’s just hard to say what I’m feeling, when there isn’t a specific reason. My go-to verse for weeks like this is Philippians 4:8. I’m also thankful for 80’s Hits and Casting Crowns.
Laura J Bembenek, Author 