I originally wrote this 2 years ago. It is still relevant today.

From Webster’s Dictionary:

misophonia

nounmis·​o·​pho·​nia | \ ˌmi-sō-ˈfō-nē-ə  \

Definition of misophonia

: a condition in which one or more common sounds (such as the ticking of a clock, the hum of a fluorescent light, or the chewing or breathing of another person) cause an atypical emotional response (such as disgust, distress, panic, or anger) in the affected person hearing the sound.

For people with a condition that some scientists called misophonia, mealtime can be torture. The sounds of other people eating—chewing, chomping, slurping, gurgling—can send them into an instantaneous, blood-boiling rage.— John Markoff

If you have it, you know it. There’s no mistaking the feelings that well up during a simple dinner or if a co-worker starts clicking a pen. I have this condition. I don’t know if it’s a symptom of something bigger. There are possibilities that it is a form of autism or a resulting factor from PTSD. I know as a child, I couldn’t wear anything with lace and had to have my gloves tucked into my coat sleeve. People that know me have heard me say how much I don’t like onions. However, it’s not the taste, it’s the texture. Even common sounds like a large group of people having different conversations, can trigger me.

I don’t have a problem joking around about my condition, most of the time. I know how odd it sounds to the people that don’t have it. My issue is that so many talk about the invisible diagnosis of mental illness, depression, etc. Unless you have experienced misophonia, you don’t know what it’s like to have to plan where you need to sit at every function; easy escape or try to avoid the loud chewers you already know about…What I do have an issue with is the people that will purposely create situations to cause a reaction from me. I have had a manager chase after me with tortilla chips, laughing. At a group function, people encouraged each other to take certain vegetables because they were near me. It wasn’t until the subject of my condition came up that people would announce that that were taking a certain vegetable because of that. Before that, I was dealing with repressing my feelings while the crunching was happening. I had people say something like, “Sit next to Laura. She loves it when people eat apples near her.”

At most events, whether a casual few or a large crowd, I do what I can to not draw attention to my discomfort, as I know it’s my issue. Sometimes I am vulnerable and mention my issue, especially if I see a trigger, such as crunchy vegetables or apples. However, when people deliberately say or do something to enhance the situation, I find that just plain mean. I’m sad that people feel the need to make someone else miserable, though I know they were trying to be funny. It just wasn’t.

Resources to read to help understand misophonia:

https://health.usf.edu/medicine/pediatrics/rothman/patient-care/misophonia

“The exact causes of misophonia are relatively unknown. However, research suggests that it may be caused by abnormalities in the limbic-autonomic nervous systems and the auditory cortex. Respondent/classical conditioning also plays a role as (previously) neutral stimuli and situations associated with autonomic arousal/discomfort become associated unpleasant sounds. Notably, sensory over-responsively (including heightened sensitivity to sounds) is common among individuals with OCD, anxiety, and Tourette’s syndrome suggesting possible overlap in neuropathology.”

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/misophonia-sounds-really-make-crazy-2017042111534

The team’s important finding was in a part of the brain that plays a role both in anger and in integrating outside inputs (such as sounds) with inputs from organs such as the heart and lungs: the anterior insular cortex (AIC). Using fMRI scans to measure brain activity, the researchers found that the AIC caused much more activity in other parts of the brain during the trigger sounds for those with misophonia than for the control group. Specifically, the parts of the brain responsible for long-term memories, fear, and other emotions were activated. This makes sense, since people with misophonia have strong emotional reactions to common sounds; more importantly, it demonstrates that these parts of the brain are the ones responsible for the experience of misophonia.